When most people think of grief, they imagine the pain of losing a loved one. But the truth is, grief is a response to any loss, not just death. But as a grief counsellor and end-of-life doula at The Beach Haven in Joondalup, I see every day that grief is much broader. In fact, research from the Australian Centre for Grief and Bereavement shows that up to 40% of people seeking support are grieving something other than death. Grief can follow life transitions such as divorce, illness, job loss, or the end of a cherished dream.
At The Beach Haven, we believe your grief is valid, no matter its source. Loss comes in many forms, and each deserves understanding and care.
“Up to 40% of people seeking grief support do so for losses unrelated to death.”
— Australian Centre for Grief and Bereavement (2024)
Real Stories: Grief Beyond Bereavement
Consider Anna, who came to counselling after her divorce. She was trapped in a cycle of sadness and guilt for grieving a relationship she chose to leave. Together, we used person-centred and narrative therapy to help her honour her feelings and rebuild her identity.
Or Michael, a father diagnosed with a chronic illness. His grief wasn’t just about his health, it was about the future he’d imagined for his family. Through counselling and support, Michael found new meaning and connection.
Then there’s Sophie, who lost her job unexpectedly. She struggled with anxiety, shame, and a sense of lost purpose. Grief counselling helped her process these emotions and regain confidence.
These stories are just a few examples of the many ways grief can touch our lives. Whether it’s the loss of a home, a pet, your health, or even your sense of self, grief is a natural response to change.
Types of Loss That Cause Grief
Grief is a response to any loss or significant life changes, such as:
- Divorce or relationship breakdown
- Serious health diagnosis or chronic illness
- Loss of a job or financial security
- Moving away from home or community
- Loss of independence or physical ability
- Estrangement from family or friends
- Loss of a pet
- Loss of identity, purpose, or future plans
Each of these can trigger profound emotional responses. It is important for those that are grieving that their loss is rocognised and their grief validated.
Why Grief Happens with Life Transitions, Even When You Choose Change
It’s a common misconception that grief only follows unwanted or tragic events. In reality, grief is a response to any loss, even when the loss comes from a change we have chosen or looked forward to.
The Nature of Loss in Life Transitions
Major life transitions, such as leaving a marriage, changing careers, moving to a new city, or retiring, often come with a sense of hope, liberation, or excitement. Yet, these transitions also involve saying goodbye to familiar roles, routines, relationships, or aspects of our identity. The grief that arises is not just about what we are moving toward, but what we are leaving behind.
Why Do We Grieve Positive Changes?
- Loss of Identity or Role: Even if a marriage or job no longer served you, it likely shaped your daily life, routines, and sense of self. Letting go of that role can leave you feeling unmoored or uncertain.
- Loss of Community or Support: Changes often mean leaving behind social circles, colleagues, or support systems that provided comfort and belonging.
- Loss of Dreams or Expectations: Sometimes, we grieve the future we imagined, even if we are the ones choosing a new path.
- Ambiguous Loss: There can be relief and sadness at the same time. Mixed emotions are not only normal, they’re a sign that you’re processing the full impact of change.
Research confirms that even positive transitions can trigger grief. Psychologist Bruce Feiler, in his work on life transitions, notes that “every ending is also a beginning, but before you can fully embrace the new, you must grieve the old.”
“every ending is also a beginning, but before you can fully embrace the new, you must grieve the old.”
– Bruce Feilder
Recognizing and honouring this grief is essential. It allows you to move forward with greater clarity, resilience, and self-compassion.
Why Recognising All Grief Matters
Dismissing grief that isn’t about death can make healing harder. Studies show that unaddressed grief, of any kind, can lead to anxiety, depression, and physical health issues. Validating these feelings is the first step toward healing.
The Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement, a well-established psychological theory, reminds us that people oscillate between confronting their loss and adapting to new realities. This applies whether you’re grieving a loved one or navigating a major life change.
Strategies for Navigating Grief and Loss
If you’re facing any kind of loss, there are a number of ways that you can support yourself to navigate this journey:
- Acknowledge your loss: It’s okay to grieve, whatever the cause.
- Share your story: Talk with someone you trust, or join a support group.
- Practice self-compassion: Allow yourself to feel a range of emotions, without judgment.
- Create rituals: Memory projects or small ceremonies can help honour your experience.
- Seek support: If grief feels overwhelming, professional counselling can help you find your path forward.
Compassionate Grief Support in Joondalup
At The Beach Haven, every client’s experience of loss is treated with respect and care. As a member of the Australian Counselling Association, with advanced training under David Kessler and years of hospice experience, we offer evidence-based grief therapy for all forms of loss, from bereavement, relationship changes, health challenges, and more.
You don’t have to face grief alone. Whether you prefer in-person sessions in Joondalup or secure online support, available to communities across Australia, compassionate help is available.
Frequently Asked Questions
Grief can arise from death, divorce, illness, job loss, moving, loss of independence, estrangement, and more.
Therapies like CBT, narrative therapy, and creative grief therapy has been shown to help individuals process and integrate grief into their lives. The goal of grief therapy is not to forget the loss, but rather to integrate the loss into your life and process the emotions associated with it. At The Beach Haven, in Joondalup, Western Australia, we specialise in grief and loss counselling and offer expert therapy support tailored to your unique situation.
Sometimes for those experiencing profound grief, or those living in remote communities, attending in-person grief counselling is too difficult. At The Beach Haven, we offer both in-person support in Joondalup, or online support for clients anywhere in Australia
You can book online via our website or contact us directly.
Sources & Further Reading
- Australian Centre for Grief and Bereavement: Grief Beyond Bereavement (2024)
- Stroebe, M., & Schut, H. (1999). The Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement. Death Studies, 23(3), 197-224.
About the Author – Tracy Rattray
Tracy Rattray is the founder of The Beach Haven in Joondalup, Western Australia. With a B.A. (Hons.) in Psychology, a Postgraduate Diploma in Counselling, and advanced grief training under renowned expert David Kessler, Tracy brings deep expertise and compassion to her work as a grief counsellor and certified end-of-life doula. She is a member of the Australian Counselling Association, committed to ongoing professional development and clinical supervision.
Tracy’s practice supports individuals and families experiencing all forms of grief—not just bereavement, but also losses related to relationships, health, career, and identity. Drawing on evidence-based therapies and a person-centred approach, Tracy helps clients find meaning, hope, and resilience in the face of life’s most challenging transitions.
To learn more about Tracy or to book a confidential session, visit The Beach Haven website.
