FOR COUPLES ON THE BRINK OF DIVORCE
When one partner is ready to walk away and the other wants to work on the marriage, jumping straight into regular couples therapy rarely works.
Discernment Counselling is a specialised, short-term process designed to help you both slow down, take a breath, and look at your options before making a life-changing decision.
To Stay Married or Divorce
Why This is Different
In discernment counselling, we recognise something traditional therapy often misses: you and your partner are not in the same place right now.
The Leaning-Out Partner: You may feel exhausted, uncertain if the marriage can work, or already checking out. You will not be judged, blamed, or pressured to stay.
The Leaning-In Partner: You are likely holding onto hope, feeling anxious, and wanting to rebuild. Your desire to save the marriage will be fully respected.
The goal is not to solve your marriage problems, but to see if they are solvable.
This is not an open-ended therapy commitment. It is a structured process of maximum 5 sessions designed to give you clarity and confidence moving forward.
A Short Term 5 Session Framework
Session 1
We look at your history and what brought you here. You will spend time together as a couple, but a significant portion is spent in one-to-one private conversations with me.
Sessions 2–4
We look at the relationship patterns and your individual contributions, helping you understand how you got here. Each individual decides at the end of each session if they would like to continue .
Session 5 (or sooner)
Both individuals make a decision between one of three paths – Move forward with Couples Therapy, move to a respectful separation / divorce, or take a pause and decide later.
Discernment counselling may be right for you if:
Note: Discernment Counselling is not suited to situations where:
Tracy Rattray - Your Discernment Therapist
Trained through the Doherty Relationship Institute (the creators of this approach).
When a relationship reaches this point, the emotions in the room are rarely simple.
One of you may be grieving a marriage you’re not ready to let go of; the other may be carrying the weight of a decision you’ve held alone for a long time.
Both experiences are real, and both are welcome here. My role is not to push you toward a specific outcome, but to guide you to a place of clarity so you can move forward with confidence.
I bring to my work both specialist training and a calm ability to understand the emotional complexity that sits beneath the question of whether to stay or go.
I work in-person in Joondalup and online with clients across Australia, including those in remote and regional areas.
TRADITIONAL COUPLES THERAPY
Discernment counselling is designed for a very specific moment — when one spouse is considering divorce and the other wants to work on the marriage. If you and your partner are both committed to working on your relationship, Traditional Couples Therapy is the right starting point for you.
At The Beach Haven, we offer evidence-based couples therapy using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Gottman Method techniques — helping couples break conflict cycles, rebuild trust, improve communication, and strengthen their connection.
How is discernment counselling different from couples therapy?
Discernment counselling is for when that’s not yet decided. The goal isn’t to solve your problems — it’s to figure out whether they’re solvable, and whether you both want to try.
Will discernment counselling speed up or bypass the 12-month separation rule in WA?
No. The Family Court of Western Australia strictly requires a 12-month separation period before you can file for divorce, and counselling cannot bypass this.
However, discernment counselling during this time can help you avoid costly legal delays later by fostering an amicable, clear-headed path forward if you do choose to separate.
What if I'm the one who wants to leave — will I be pressured to stay?
No. The counsellor will respect your reasons for considering divorce while also creating space to look at the possibilities. There is no agenda to save the marriage — only to help you reach a clear, considered decision
What if my partner won't come?
Discernment counselling is only suited to couples where both partners agree to join the therapy, and where the idea of divorce has already been raised as a possibility
We are separated but still living together. Can discernment counselling help us?
Yes. Navigating a “separation under one roof” in Western Australia comes with unique legal and emotional challenges.
The Family Court requires extra evidence to prove you were genuinely leading separate lives during those 12-months.
Documenting that you engaged in Discernment Counselling could provide supplemental evidence of your relationship status during this time.
What happens after discernment counselling?
If you decide to work on the marriage, we can move into couples therapy from a much clearer starting point. If you decide to separate, counselling can help you navigate that transition with greater understanding and resilience.
How long are the sessions?
Disclaimer: I am a specialised Discernment Counsellor, not a family law attorney. The information on this website explains how counselling processes interact with relationship timelines in Western Australia. It does not constitute formal legal advice. Please consult a qualified Western Australian family lawyer regarding your specific legal situation.
Book an Appointment
Book online below, or feel free to call or email us if you need help making a booking